Library

Great books & ideas on people

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Each entry sets out the key ideas in our own words, the strongest criticism, a real-world example and a way to practise it. Ideas to examine, never rules to follow.

• How to Win Friends and Influence People — Dale Carnegie — The classic on everyday people skills: be interested, listen, appreciate, and don’t criticise without need. (1936)
• Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion — Robert Cialdini — Why people say yes: the mental shortcuts behind persuasion — useful to know, and useful to defend against. (1984 (expanded 2021))
• Emotional Intelligence — Daniel Goleman — Popularised the idea that understanding and managing emotions matters alongside intellect. (1995)
• Nonviolent Communication — Marshall Rosenberg — A structure for hard conversations: observations, feelings, needs and requests. (1999)
• The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People — Stephen Covey — Principles for personal effectiveness and relationships, including “seek first to understand”. (1989)
• Never Split the Difference — Chris Voss — A former hostage negotiator on tactical empathy, labelling emotions and calibrated questions. (2016)
• Crucial Conversations — Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan & Al Switzler — How to talk when stakes are high, opinions differ and emotions run strong. (2002)
• The Five Dysfunctions of a Team — Patrick Lencioni — A story about why teams fail: missing trust, fear of conflict, weak commitment, avoided accountability, ignored results. (2002)
• High Output Management — Andrew Grove — A manager’s handbook from Intel: a manager’s output is the output of their team. (1983)
• The Art of War — Sun Tzu (attributed) — An ancient text on strategy, read carefully today for ideas about preparation, understanding others and avoiding needless conflict. (c. 5th century BCE)
• Nicomachean Ethics — on friendship — Aristotle — Three kinds of friendship — of usefulness, of pleasure, and of character — and why the last one lasts. (c. 340 BCE)
• The Analects — Confucius (recorded by his students) — Character shown in relationships: respect, reciprocity and the responsibilities each role carries. (compiled c. 5th–3rd century BCE)
• Meditations & the Enchiridion — Marcus Aurelius and Epictetus — Focus on what you control — including how you respond to other people. (c. 100–180 CE)
• Getting to Yes — Roger Fisher & William Ury — Principled negotiation: separate the people from the problem and focus on interests. (1981)
• Radical Candor — Kim Scott — Feedback that is both caring and direct. (2017)
• The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work — John Gottman & Nan Silver — Research on lasting close relationships: turning toward each other, repair, and how conflict is handled. (1999)
• Give and Take — Adam Grant — Givers, takers and matchers — and why generous people can do well if they protect themselves. (2013)
• I and Thou — Martin Buber — The difference between using a person and truly meeting them. (1923)
• Quiet — Susan Cain — Making room for quieter people — and questioning the idea that the loudest voice is the best one. (2012)
• Friends — Robin Dunbar — What research says about how friendships form, the time they take, and how they fade. (2021)