Practice lab · 10 min

Conflict Lab

Practise a disagreement on paper, then look at your words the way the other person will hear them. Practise on realistic situations, one step at a time.

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Practise a disagreement on paper, then look at your words the way the other person will hear them.

Situations to practise on

Your friend misunderstood something you said

You made a joke in a group chat. A friend took it as a dig at them and has been cold since. You did not mean it that way.

A colleague presented your idea as theirs

In a meeting, a colleague presented an idea you had shared with them privately, without mentioning you.

A flatmate’s habits are wearing you down

Your flatmate often leaves dishes for days and has friends over late on weeknights. You have hinted, but nothing changed.

A group member isn’t doing their part

In a group project, one member has missed two deadlines and the rest of you are covering for them.

The steps

1. Write what you would actually say Your honest first version — you can improve it in a moment.
2. Look back at your words. Which of these did you think about? Tick the ones you considered. The ones you didn’t are worth a second look — not a mark against you.
3. Rewrite it, if anything changed
4. What outcome do you want — for both of you?

Afterwards, ask yourself

What is one thing you would keep from your rewrite in a real disagreement?