What can I do right now?
“Someone said something that hurt”
Someone said something that hurt? An insult, a put-down or a cruel comment — and it keeps replaying.
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An insult, a put-down or a cruel comment — and it keeps replaying.
Try one of these now
- STOP: a one-minute pause — (1 min · Practical evidence)
- Name the feeling — (2 min · Emerging evidence)
- Self-compassion break — (3 min · Moderate evidence)
- An assertive request — (5 min · Practical evidence)
Why this can help
Pause before you answer, name what you feel, treat yourself the way you would treat a friend who heard the same words — and only then decide whether, and how, to respond.
When it is more than a rough moment
If the insults are repeated, come from someone with power over you, or come with threats, that is bullying or abuse rather than a bad moment. Tell someone you trust, keep a record, and contact a support line or the authorities if you feel unsafe.
Understand it better
- Giving feedback and hearing criticism — Saying hard things usefully, and hearing them without collapsing or hitting back. (7 min · Practising)
- Boundaries — Deciding what you will and won’t do, and saying so kindly. Boundaries protect relationships. (7 min · Practising)
- Self-compassion — Treating yourself the way you would treat a friend who is struggling — and why it is not going easy on yourself. (7 min · Beginner)
If you need more support
- When self-help isn’t enough — Signs it is time to talk to someone, and who you can talk to.