Module 9 · Networking · Lesson 2 of 9

Giving before asking

Help, introductions and useful things first; requests come later and land better.

6 min read · Level: Beginner · Free — no account needed to read

The idea

Giving before asking means helping, sharing, introducing and encouraging long before you need anything. When you do ask, the relationship already exists, and the request feels natural rather than transactional.

Giving doesn’t have to be large: a thoughtful comment on someone’s work, a relevant article, an introduction, a thank-you. But protect yourself too — generous people do best when they help widely and set limits with people who only ever take.

Why it matters

Requests land better inside a relationship. Generosity builds that relationship before it is needed.

See it happen

Mishu wants advice from a founder she admires about starting a business.

The first reaction

She sends a message asking for a thirty-minute call.

With the idea

For a few weeks she engages thoughtfully with the founder’s posts and shares one of her articles with a group who find it useful. When she asks a specific question, the founder replies at length.

What changed

Giving first turned a cold ask into a warm one.

Easy to get wrong

• Giving only as a calculated setup for a request — people notice.
• Giving endlessly to people who never give back.

Where this comes from: Adam Grant — Give and Take (2013).

Try it now: Three small gifts

1. Name three people you would like a better relationship with.
2. For each, write one small, genuine thing you could give.

Questions to think about

• Who has given to you generously before asking anything?
• Where might your giving be draining you?

Your challenge this week

Give one small, genuine thing to someone in your network this week.