Module 8 · Influence & persuasion · Lesson 10 of 11

Preparing to negotiate

Know your alternatives, their likely interests, and the questions you will ask.

7 min read · Level: Practising · Free — no account needed to read

The idea

Good negotiation is mostly preparation. Before a salary talk, a big purchase or a family decision, know what you want and why, your best alternative if there is no agreement, what the other side likely wants and fears, and what you could offer that costs you little but helps them.

Prepare questions as well as arguments: “What would make this work for you?” “What’s most important to you here?” Asking questions gives you information and shows respect.

Why it matters

Prepared people negotiate more calmly, ask for more reasonable things, and walk away when they should.

See it happen

Sadia has a salary review next week and plans to “see what they offer”.

The first reaction

She hopes they will be fair and doesn’t want to seem greedy.

With the idea

She researches typical pay, lists her achievements, decides her minimum, and prepares two questions. She asks confidently and gets a better offer.

What changed

Preparation replaced hope with a plan.

Easy to get wrong

• Walking in with no idea of your alternatives.
• Preparing only arguments and no questions.

Different perspectives

Reasonable people disagree here. None of these is presented as the answer.

Preparation is decisive

Negotiation researchers and practitioners agree that knowing your alternatives and the other side’s interests changes outcomes.

Don’t over-script it

Over-prepared scripts can make you rigid; real negotiations need listening and willingness to change your mind.

Where this comes from: Roger Fisher & William Ury — Getting to Yes (1981); Chris Voss — Never Split the Difference (2016).

Try it now: One-page prep

1. Pick an upcoming negotiation, big or small.
2. Write: what I want and why; my best alternative; what they likely want and fear.
3. Write two questions you will ask.

Questions to think about

• What negotiations do you avoid or enter unprepared?
• What is your alternative if an important negotiation fails?

Your challenge this week

Prepare one page before your next negotiation, however small.