Module 7 · Conflict, boundaries & difficult situations · Lesson 7 of 11

Handling criticism and rejection

Both hurt. Neither has to decide who you are.

7 min read · Level: Practising · Free — no account needed to read

The idea

Criticism and rejection both hurt because belonging and approval matter deeply to humans. Not getting the job, being turned down, hearing your work was weak — the sting is real and normal.

What helps is separating the event from your worth. A rejection is usually one person’s decision at one moment for many reasons, most of which you cannot see. Criticism may contain something useful, something unfair, or both — you can take the useful part and leave the rest.

Why it matters

People who can absorb criticism and rejection keep trying, keep reaching out and keep learning.

See it happen

Sanjida asks a colleague to lunch and gets a short “no, busy.” She decides not to invite anyone again.

The first reaction

She takes it as proof people at work don’t like her.

With the idea

She reminds herself it was one person on one day. She invites someone else the next week, and they go. The first colleague later mentions she had a deadline that day.

What changed

Treating the rejection as one event, not a verdict, kept her reaching out.

Easy to get wrong

• Turning one rejection into a rule about yourself.
• Refusing to hear any part of criticism because some of it was unfair.

Try it now: One event, not a verdict

1. Recall a rejection or criticism that still stings.
2. Write three reasons it might have happened that have nothing to do with your worth.
3. Write one useful thing you could take from it, if any.

Questions to think about

• What rejection have you let stop you from trying again?
• How do you talk to yourself after criticism?

Your challenge this week

Try again at one thing a rejection made you stop.