Module 2 · Communication · Lesson 7 of 10

Giving feedback that helps

Specific, kind and about the thing — not about the person.

7 min read · Level: Practising · Free — no account needed to read

The idea

Feedback helps when it is specific, about the behaviour rather than the person, and given with care. “Your report was confusing” is vague; “the key number was on page six — could it go first?” is useful.

A simple shape: describe what happened, say what effect it had, and suggest or ask about what could change. Give it privately, soon after the event, and in a tone that makes clear you are on their side.

Why it matters

Good feedback is one of the most useful things you can give someone. Poor feedback — vague, public, or personal — mostly makes people defensive.

See it happen

Rina’s friend asks for feedback on a presentation that was rushed and hard to follow.

The first reaction

Rina says “It was great!” so as not to hurt her friend before the real event.

With the idea

She says what worked, then: “The middle went fast and I lost the thread. Slowing down there would help.” Her friend fixes it.

What changed

Honest, specific feedback given kindly helped far more than comfortable praise.

Easy to get wrong

• Being so gentle the other person never realises there was feedback at all.
• Commenting on character (“you’re careless”) instead of behaviour (“two figures were wrong”).

Try it now: Situation, effect, suggestion

1. Think of feedback you have been putting off.
2. Write the specific situation, the effect it had, and one suggestion.
3. Read it as if you were receiving it. Adjust anything that sounds like a judgement of the person.

Questions to think about

• What is the most helpful feedback anyone has ever given you, and how did they give it?
• What feedback are you avoiding giving right now?

Your challenge this week

Give one piece of specific, kind feedback this week.