Module 8 · Goals & direction · Lesson 7 of 8

Persistence or stubbornness?

Keeping going is sometimes the whole secret and sometimes the whole problem. How to tell which.

8 min read · Free — no account needed to read

The idea

Persistence — keeping going when things are hard — is behind most meaningful achievements. Learning a language, building a business, recovering from injury: all involve long stretches where progress is slow and giving up would be easier.

But persistence has a shadow. Stubbornness is continuing after the evidence says the approach is not working, the goal no longer fits, or the cost has grown larger than the prize. From the inside, the two can feel identical: both feel like refusing to quit.

Some questions help tell them apart. Is the goal still connected to something I value? Is there evidence of progress, even slow? Have I tried changing the approach, or only trying harder at the same one? Would I start this today? If the answers point toward the goal, persist. If they point away, it may be time to change the approach — or the goal.

Why it matters

Giving up too early and holding on too long both have real costs. Asking these questions regularly, rather than only in a crisis, helps you persist where it pays off and redirect where it does not.

See it happen

Lucas has been trying to get his screenplay produced for five years. He has sent it to dozens of producers without success and is exhausted.

The first read

Successful writers are known for refusing to give up, so he feels he must keep sending the same script until someone says yes.

With this idea

He asks the questions. Writing still matters deeply to him, but there is no sign of progress with this script, and he has only tried harder, not differently. He keeps writing but changes the approach: short films he can make himself, and a writing group for feedback.

What changed

He kept the goal that mattered and let go of the approach that was not working.

Easy to get wrong

• Treating every setback as a sign to stop. Most worthwhile goals include long flat stretches.
• Treating persistence as a virtue in itself. It is only as good as what it serves.

Different perspectives

Reasonable people disagree here. None of these is presented as the final word.

Perseverance predicts achievement

Research on grit argues that sustained effort toward long-term goals matters for success, sometimes as much as talent.

Knowing when to stop matters too

Other research finds that people who can let go of unattainable goals and pick up new ones report better well-being, and later analyses suggest grit predicts less than first claimed.

What this rests on

Studied, still argued over. There is research here, and researchers disagree about how strong or general the effect is.

• Angela Duckworth — Grit (2016) — Argues that sustained passion and perseverance for long-term goals matter for achievement. Later analyses found grit overlaps heavily with conscientiousness and predicts success less strongly than first claimed.
• Carsten Wrosch and colleagues — goal disengagement (2003 onwards) — People who can let go of goals that have become unattainable, and find new ones, tend to report better well-being.

Try it: Four questions

1. Pick a goal that has been hard for a long time.
2. Answer: Is it still connected to what I value? Is there any sign of progress? Have I changed the approach, or only tried harder? Would I start it today?
3. Write whether the answers point to persisting, changing the approach, or changing the goal.

Reflect

• Where might your persistence have become stubbornness?
• Where have you given up too early on something that still matters?

Use it in the coming days

Ask the four questions about your hardest goal this week, and write your answer as a note on that goal.

Where to do it: My Goals

A note on the goal itself keeps your reasoning where you will see it next time.