Module 12 · Resilience, purpose & growth · Practical technique

Setbacks are part of the path

Almost every worthwhile path includes setbacks. Expecting them changes how they land.

6 min read · Level: Beginner · Free — no account needed to read

The idea

When we imagine a goal, we usually imagine a straight line from here to there. Real paths are messier: a rejected application, a month of illness, a plan that falls apart, a relationship that ends. When a setback arrives, it can feel like proof that the whole direction was wrong.

Most of the time, it isn’t. Look at the lives of people you admire and you will almost always find the same pattern: detours, restarts and discouragement, invisible from the outside because only the result gets talked about.

Telling yourself in advance, “there will be setbacks, and when one comes I will take a day, then look at what to change”, makes the difficult moment feel less like an ending and more like an expected part of the journey.

Why it works

Setbacks are one of the main reasons people give up on things that matter. Expecting them changes how they land.

A real example

The situation

Hana has been training for a 10 km run for two months. A week before the race she sprains her ankle and can’t run for three weeks.

What happened

She lets herself be disappointed for a day. Then she notes what the training gave her — better sleep, more energy, a routine — and signs up for a race two months later while her ankle heals.

The takeaway

She treated the setback as a detour on the path, not as a sign the path was wrong.

Use this when you are…

• something you were working toward has gone wrong
• you feel like giving up after a setback
• starting something new and challenging

Common mistakes

• Treating one setback as proof the whole direction is wrong.
• Expecting the path to be a straight line.
• Skipping the disappointment. Feel it, then decide what to change.

What the evidence says

Practical technique: A widely used, low-risk practice drawn from established approaches, but not tested much on its own. Its value is mostly that it is simple and harmless to try.

Anticipating setbacks draws on research on coping and goal pursuit, including planning for obstacles. It is a practical approach rather than a separately tested technique.

Where this comes from: Resilience research; Implementation intentions research.

Fields that study this: Clinical psychology.

Try it now: Plan for the detour

1. Name something you are working toward.
2. Write the most likely setback you might face.
3. Write what you will do in the day after it happens.

Practise with a guided technique

• Self-compassion break — (3 min · Moderate evidence)
• Six-step problem solving — (10–15 min · Moderate evidence)

Questions to think about

• Which past setback turned out to be a detour rather than an ending?
• How do you usually react in the first day after a setback?

Try this today

Write down the setback most likely to test your current goal, and your plan for it.

Afterwards, ask yourself

When a setback came, how did planning for it change your reaction?

Words in this lesson

• Resilience — The ordinary ability to adapt and recover in the face of difficulty, built from relationships, skills and circumstances. It includes struggling, not avoiding it.