Thinking method · Rosenberg, Nonviolent Communication
Observation, feeling, need, request
Saying a difficult thing in a way that can be heard. A conversation you have been avoiding.
Free — no account needed to read
Saying a difficult thing in a way that can be heard.
The steps
- Observation — what happened, stated as a camera would record it, with no evaluation.
- Feeling — what you felt, not what you think they did.
- Need — what matters to you that was not met.
- Request — something specific, doable, and refusable.
- Check: have you smuggled a judgement into the observation? That is the usual failure.
When to use it
A conversation you have been avoiding.
What it will not do
Said mechanically it sounds like a script and lands worse than plain speech. The observation step is the part that matters.
Where it comes from: Rosenberg, Nonviolent Communication. Described in our own words.
The module it belongs to
- Questioning — Ask better questions