Thinking method · Patterson et al., Crucial Conversations
Make it safe first
Noticing when a conversation has stopped being safe, and repairing it before continuing. The moment someone goes quiet or sharp.
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Noticing when a conversation has stopped being safe, and repairing it before continuing.
The steps
- Watch for the signs: silence, or attack. Both mean safety has gone.
- Stop the content. Fix the safety.
- State what you do not intend, then what you do — people react to the intent they assume.
- Find the purpose you both share, and say it.
- Then return to the content.
When to use it
The moment someone goes quiet or sharp.
What it will not do
You can create safety and still not agree. Agreement was never what safety was for.
Where it comes from: Patterson et al., Crucial Conversations. Described in our own words.
The module it belongs to
- Questioning — Ask better questions