Module 4 · Emotional intelligence · Lesson 6 of 9

Seeing it from their side

Perspective taking, and making sense of other people’s reactions.

7 min read · Level: Practising · Free — no account needed to read

The idea

Perspective taking means deliberately imagining how a situation looks from someone else’s position: their history, their pressures, what they know and don’t know. It is thinking work, not just feeling work.

It helps you understand other people’s reactions that seem out of proportion. A colleague who overreacts to a small change may be protecting something you can’t see — a past failure, a worry at home, a manager breathing down their neck.

Why it matters

Understanding why someone reacts as they do lets you respond to the real issue instead of the surface.

See it happen

Selina’s mother gets upset whenever Selina travels alone.

The first reaction

Selina feels controlled and argues that she is an adult.

With the idea

She thinks about her mother’s perspective — she grew up where travelling alone was unsafe for women. Selina shares her plans and check-in times, and the arguments ease.

What changed

Seeing the fear behind the reaction led to a practical answer instead of a power struggle.

Easy to get wrong

• Assuming you know someone’s perspective without asking them.
• Using perspective taking to excuse behaviour that is genuinely not okay.

Try it now: Their chair

1. Think of someone whose reaction puzzled or annoyed you recently.
2. Write the situation as they might describe it, in the first person.
3. Write one question you could ask to check your guess.

Questions to think about

• Whose reactions do you find hardest to understand?
• What might someone misunderstand about your reactions if they didn’t know your history?

Your challenge this week

Ask one person how a situation looks from where they stand — and just listen.