Module 2 · Self-direction · Lesson 6 of 6

Choosing between paths — and changing course

How to choose when several paths are good, and how to change direction without calling it failure.

8 min read · Free — no account needed to read

The idea

Sometimes the problem is not having no direction but having several good ones: two careers, two cities, study now or work first. When paths are genuinely good, no amount of analysis will make one obviously right, and waiting for certainty can leave you on neither.

Useful questions help. Which path fits my values in this season? Which is harder to reverse? Which would I regret not trying? Which can I test cheaply before committing? Often one path can be tried first while the other waits.

And if you choose a path and later change direction, that is not failure. You made the best choice with what you knew, you learned something by walking it, and you are using that learning. Changing direction is part of navigation, not an error in it.

Why it matters

People often stay stuck between good options for years, or change course and then quietly carry shame about it. A clear way to choose, and a kinder way to see course changes, frees energy for actually living the chosen path.

See it happen

Sofía has an offer to do a master’s degree and an offer of a good job in her field. Both appeal, and she has gone back and forth for weeks.

The first read

She keeps researching salaries and rankings, hoping more information will reveal which option is clearly best.

With this idea

She asks which is harder to reverse: the job offer may not come again, while the master’s will still exist in two years. She takes the job, and writes in her journal that she can revisit the degree after two years. Choosing feels lighter because it is not forever.

What changed

She used reversibility and timing to choose, instead of waiting for certainty.

Easy to get wrong

• Believing there is one right path you must find. Often several paths could lead to a good life.
• Calling a change of direction a failure. The earlier path taught you things the new one will use.

Different perspectives

Reasonable people disagree here. None of these is presented as the final word.

People hesitate too long

Some research suggests that people unsure about a major change who made it were, on average, happier afterwards — hinting that fear of change keeps people stuck.

Caution protects real commitments

Others point out that such studies rely on self-report and self-selected participants, and that some changes carry costs for people who depend on you. Deliberation has value.

What this rests on

Studied, still argued over. There is research here, and researchers disagree about how strong or general the effect is.

• Steven Levitt — Heads or Tails: the impact of a coin toss on major life decisions (2021) — People unsure about a big change who let a coin nudge them were more likely to make the change, and those who did reported being happier months later. Participants chose to take part and self-reported their happiness, so it suggests rather than proves that people hesitate too long over change.
• Barry Schwartz — The Paradox of Choice (2004), and research on maximisers and satisficers — Argues that more options can make choosing harder and less satisfying, and that people who always seek the best option tend to feel worse about their choices. Later reviews found the average "too much choice" effect is small and appears only under certain conditions.

Try it: Four questions for two paths

1. Name the two (or three) paths you are choosing between.
2. For each, answer: does it fit my values now? How reversible is it? Would I regret not trying it? Can I test it cheaply?
3. Write which path you would try first, and when you would look at the choice again.

Reflect

• Which change of direction in your past do you still count as a failure — and what did it teach you?
• What would make a choice between your current options feel less permanent?

Use it in the coming days

Run the Future paths tool on a choice you are facing this week, and take the one small step it suggests.

Where to do it: My Vision Board

The Vision Board can hold more than one possible path while you test them.