Module 16 · Priorities, trade-offs & life choices · Lesson 1 of 6

You cannot maximise everything

Trying to excel at everything at once usually means excelling at nothing. Choosing what matters now.

7 min read · Free — no account needed to read

The idea

Many people quietly try to maximise everything at once: career, fitness, relationships, learning, side projects, a tidy home, a full social life. Each is worth caring about. But there are only so many hours and so much energy, and trying to excel at everything at the same time usually means feeling behind in all of it.

Accepting that you cannot maximise everything is not giving up. It is the beginning of choosing. Different seasons of life have different priorities: early career, new parenthood, caring for a parent, recovering from illness, retirement. What matters most now may not be what mattered five years ago or what will matter in five years’ time.

Choosing what matters now means naming a small number of priorities for this season and letting other things be “good enough” for a while. The other things still count — they simply are not what you are optimising for right now.

Why it matters

Trying to maximise everything tends to produce constant low-level guilt and exhaustion. Choosing a few priorities for a season lets you do those well and be at peace with the rest.

See it happen

Megan is a new parent returning to work. She wants to keep her fitness, her career progress, her friendships and her home exactly as they were before the baby.

The first read

She has always managed to do it all, so she feels she should be able to keep everything going now too.

With this idea

She names her priorities for this season: her baby, her health and steady work. Friendships get a monthly catch-up, fitness becomes walks with the pram, the home gets “good enough”. She feels far less guilty and far more present.

What changed

She chose priorities for this season instead of trying to maximise everything.

Easy to get wrong

• Believing that choosing priorities means neglecting everything else. It means “good enough” for the rest, for now.
• Keeping the same priorities for years without checking whether the season has changed.

Different perspectives

Reasonable people disagree here. None of these is presented as the final word.

Accept finitude

Burkeman argues that you will never get everything done, and that accepting this — rather than chasing more efficiency — is what makes real choosing possible.

Better systems can help

Others point out that good planning and habits genuinely free up time and energy, so some people can fit in more than they think — though never everything.

What this rests on

A question to think about. People have argued about this for centuries. There is no single answer — only better questions.

• Oliver Burkeman — Four Thousand Weeks (2021) — A book about time management that starts from finitude: you will never get everything done, so choosing is the whole skill.

Try it: Priorities for this season

1. Write everything you are currently trying to do well.
2. Name your season of life in a few words.
3. Choose up to three priorities for this season, and write what “good enough” means for the rest.

Reflect

• What am I saying yes to that prevents something more important?
• What season of life are you in — and do your priorities fit it?

Use it in the coming days

Write your three priorities for this season in Life Compass this week, with “good enough” notes for everything else.

Where to do it: Life Compass

Life Compass holds a short list of priorities and lets you set other things aside on purpose.