Module 10 · Motivation & action · Lesson 5 of 6

Avoidance and procrastination

Procrastination is usually about a feeling, not about time.

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The idea

Procrastination is putting off something you intended to do, even though you expect to be worse off for the delay. It is extremely common, and it is not simply poor time management or laziness.

Research suggests procrastination is often about managing feelings. The task brings up something unpleasant — boredom, anxiety, self-doubt, confusion — and delaying it gives a small, immediate relief. The cost is paid later, usually with interest. Avoidance works the same way on a bigger scale: whole areas of life — a health check, a money conversation, a hard decision — can be avoided for years because facing them feels bad.

Because it is about feelings, the most useful responses work on the feeling: make the task less unpleasant, less vague, or less lonely. Break it into a smaller first step, clarify exactly what to do, work alongside someone, or be kinder to yourself about past delays — self-criticism tends to make the next avoidance more likely.

Why it matters

Seeing procrastination as a feeling problem rather than a character flaw makes it much easier to change. Harsh self-talk rarely helps; understanding what you are avoiding often does.

See it happen

Leila has avoided opening a letter from the tax office for three weeks. It sits on the shelf, and she feels a knot in her stomach every time she sees it.

The first read

She feels she is being ridiculous and irresponsible, and tells herself she should just deal with it — which makes her want to avoid it even more.

With this idea

She names the feeling: fear that she owes money she cannot pay. She asks a friend to sit with her while she opens it. It is a routine form that takes fifteen minutes. The relief is enormous.

What changed

She dealt with the feeling behind the avoidance, rather than criticising herself for it.

Easy to get wrong

• Treating procrastination as proof you are lazy. It is usually about emotion, not effort.
• Answering avoidance with harsh self-criticism, which tends to make the next avoidance more likely.

What this rests on

Well studied. Researchers have studied this a good deal. The core idea holds up, though details vary between people and settings.

• Piers Steel — the nature of procrastination (2007 review) and The Procrastination Equation (2011) — A large review linking procrastination to how unpleasant a task feels, how far off its reward is, and how impulsive a person tends to be.
• Fuschia Sirois & Timothy Pychyl — procrastination and mood repair (2013) — Argues procrastination is often a way of escaping a bad feeling now, at the expense of your future self.
• Kristin Neff — research on self-compassion — Studies on treating yourself with the kindness you would offer a friend after a failure, linked to more willingness to try again.

Try it: What feeling is this?

1. Write one thing you have been putting off.
2. Write the feeling it brings up when you think about starting.
3. Write one change that would make it less unpleasant, less vague, or less lonely.

Reflect

• What do you keep saying you want but repeatedly avoid?
• What do you tell yourself when you procrastinate — and would you say it to a friend?

Use it in the coming days

Pick one avoided task and make it less unpleasant, vague or lonely this week — then take its first step.

Where to do it: My Schedule

An avoided task with a small, scheduled first step is much harder to keep avoiding.