Module 12 · Resilience, purpose & growth · Practical technique

Life transitions

Moving, graduating, a new job, a loss — why changes shake us, and how to steady yourself.

7 min read · Level: Practising · Free — no account needed to read

The idea

Life transitions — moving home, starting university, a new job, becoming a parent, a relationship ending, retirement, losing someone — unsettle us even when they are chosen and happy. Old routines, roles and relationships change all at once.

William Bridges, who studied transitions, described three phases: an ending (letting go of what was), a “neutral zone” (an in-between time that can feel confusing or empty), and a new beginning. Many people expect to jump straight from the ending to the new beginning and are surprised by the in-between.

What helps is naming what has ended and allowing yourself to miss it, keeping a few anchors steady (sleep, a routine, key relationships), being patient with the in-between, and building new routines and connections step by step.

Why it works

Transitions are among the most stressful times in life. Understanding them makes the confusion feel normal and easier to move through.

A real example

The situation

After moving countries for a new job, Sven feels lost and low, even though the move was what he wanted.

What happened

He recognises he is in the in-between phase. He lets himself miss home, keeps his running routine, calls his family every Sunday and joins a language class. After a few months, the new city starts to feel like his.

The takeaway

Naming the in-between made it bearable — and temporary.

Use this when you are…

• you are going through a big change
• a change you wanted still feels hard
• you feel lost between an old life and a new one

Common mistakes

• Expecting a wanted change to feel only good.
• Rushing through the ending without acknowledging what was lost.
• Dropping every routine at once.

What the evidence says

Practical technique: A widely used, low-risk practice drawn from established approaches, but not tested much on its own. Its value is mostly that it is simple and harmless to try.

The stress of life transitions is well documented. Bridges’ three-phase model is a widely used practical framework rather than a tested scientific theory.

Where this comes from: Resilience research; Social connection and health research.

Fields that study this: Sociology, Clinical psychology.

Try it now: Map your transition

1. Name a change you are going through.
2. Write what has ended, and allow yourself to name what you miss.
3. Choose two anchors to keep steady while things settle.

Practise with a guided technique

• Reach out to one person — (5 min · Moderate evidence)
• Weekly health review — (15 min · Practical evidence)
• Self-compassion break — (3 min · Moderate evidence)

Questions to think about

• What transition are you in, or recently came through?
• What anchors have helped you through change before?

Try this today

Keep one steady anchor today while things around you change.

Afterwards, ask yourself

What helped you through the in-between?

Words in this lesson

• Resilience — The ordinary ability to adapt and recover in the face of difficulty, built from relationships, skills and circumstances. It includes struggling, not avoiding it.