Specific, soon, and about the effect. Vague or delayed feedback is unkind, whatever it feels like at the time.
10 min read · Level 3
Withheld feedback does not disappear, it accumulates and then arrives all at once as a surprise in a review — which is far harder on the person than the uncomfortable two minutes would have been. Avoiding it feels kind and is not: letting someone continue doing something ineffective for six months is a worse thing to do to them than telling them on the day.
Feedback is telling someone what you observed and what effect it had, close to when it happened.
Three components: the specific observation, the effect it had, and what you would like instead. Delivered privately for criticism, publicly for praise.
Because withheld feedback does not disappear — it accumulates and then arrives all at once, usually in a review, usually as a surprise, and usually much harder than it needed to be.
And because avoiding it feels kind and is not. Letting someone continue doing something ineffective for six months, then telling them, is worse for them than an uncomfortable two-minute conversation on the day.
Useless: 'You need to be more proactive.' Not observable, not actionable, and probably means something different to each of you.
Useful: 'In yesterday's customer call you answered before they'd finished describing the problem. We lost the objection they were starting to raise, and I think that's why the call ended without a next step. Could you try leaving a pause after they stop talking?'
Observation, effect, request. Two minutes. Specific enough to act on tomorrow.
And positive feedback works exactly the same way:
'The way you handled that pricing pushback — going back to their own numbers instead of discounting — is exactly right. It's why we closed at full price.'
That is far more useful than 'great job', because it tells them what to repeat. Most managers are far vaguer with praise than with criticism, which wastes it.
First-time founders often save feedback for a scheduled moment. By then the detail is gone, the person cannot picture the incident, and it feels like an accumulated case against them rather than a correction.
The second mistake: the 'feedback sandwich' — burying criticism between two compliments. People learn the pattern and discount the praise, so you lose both.
The third: only giving feedback when something is wrong. If every conversation with you is a correction, people start avoiding conversations with you.
While both of you remember the specifics. Delayed feedback is vague feedback.
A specific thing that happened, not a character trait. 'You answered before they finished' rather than 'you don't listen'.
Why it mattered. This is what makes it a correction rather than a preference.
Concrete enough that they could do it differently tomorrow.
'Great job' teaches nothing. Name what they did and why it worked.
The reverse of what happens by default in most companies.
Continuously, within a day or two of anything worth mentioning.
Do not give feedback while angry, and do not give critical feedback in front of others. Both make it about the delivery rather than the content.
"You need to be more proactive" cannot be acted on. "In yesterday's call you answered before they finished describing the problem, so we lost the objection they were raising — could you try leaving a pause?" takes the same two minutes and can be done differently tomorrow.
Name a specific observed thing, the effect it had, and what you would like instead. Character feedback is unactionable by construction.
Burying criticism between two compliments is recognised within about three uses, after which every piece of praise reads as a preamble. You lose the correction and the praise together, and the praise was the more valuable of the two.
Give praise and correction separately and specifically. "Great job" teaches nothing either — name what worked and why.
Create a free account to read the rest and apply it to your own startup.