Module 14 · Influence & manipulation awareness · Lesson 2 of 11

Authority, power and decisions

Why we defer to authority, and how unhealthy power dynamics grow.

7 min read · Level: Practising · Free — no account needed to read

The idea

People tend to defer to authority — a boss, a teacher, an official, an expert, an elder — often without checking whether the instruction is right. Usually that is sensible. But it means authority can be borrowed or misused, and that people sometimes go along with things they know are wrong because someone in charge said so.

Unhealthy power dynamics grow when one person controls something another needs — money, a job, a visa, housing, approval — and uses that to pressure rather than to lead. Signs include fear of saying no, rules that apply to one person only, and punishment for disagreeing.

Why it matters

Recognising how authority affects decisions helps you respect legitimate authority without surrendering your judgement.

See it happen

Shima’s supervisor asks her to sign off a report she knows contains wrong figures, saying “just trust me on this.”

The first reaction

She feels she can’t refuse someone so senior, and that it probably isn’t her responsibility.

With the idea

She says she can’t sign figures she believes are wrong, asks for the correction in writing, and speaks to the compliance officer. The report is corrected.

What changed

She respected her supervisor’s role without handing over her own judgement.

Easy to get wrong

• Assuming an instruction is right because of who gave it.
• Seeing every authority figure as a threat — most are doing their job.

How to protect yourself

• Ask whether this person actually has expertise in THIS matter, and what they gain from your agreement.
• Get important instructions in writing, and know who you can go to above or outside the situation.
• If saying no feels dangerous rather than just uncomfortable, that is a sign of an unhealthy power dynamic worth talking to someone about.

Try it now: Power map

1. List people who have some power over parts of your life.
2. For each, note whether you feel free to disagree with them.
3. For any where you don’t, write who you could talk to if something went wrong.

Questions to think about

• Whose authority do you accept most automatically?
• Is there a relationship where you are afraid to say no?

Your challenge this week

Ask one respectful “why?” about an instruction you would normally just follow.