Module 13 · Leadership & people management · Lesson 12 of 12

Difficult employees, difficult managers

Separating the behaviour from the person, and dealing with it directly and fairly.

8 min read · Level: Deeper · Free — no account needed to read

The idea

Difficult employees and difficult managers usually present specific behaviours: missed deadlines, harsh criticism, taking credit, disengagement, micromanaging. Focusing on the behaviour rather than labelling the person makes it something you can address.

Address it directly, privately and early, with specific examples, and ask about their side — there is often something you can’t see. Document patterns. With a difficult manager, focus on what you can influence, find allies, and know when to escalate or move on. Nobody has to accept abuse or harassment at work.

Why it matters

Almost everyone faces a difficult working relationship at some point. Handling it fairly and directly protects you, the work and often the relationship.

See it happen

Hasan’s manager criticises him harshly in front of the team.

The first reaction

He either stays silent and dreads work, or snaps back in the moment.

With the idea

He asks for a private meeting: “When feedback is given in front of the team, it’s hard to take in. Could we discuss concerns one-to-one?” The public criticism stops.

What changed

A private, specific request addressed the behaviour without a battle.

Easy to get wrong

• Labelling people instead of describing behaviour.
• Waiting until you are furious to raise a problem.

Try it now: Behaviour, not label

1. Think of a difficult work or study relationship.
2. Write the specific behaviours that are difficult, not labels.
3. Write one private, specific request you could make.

Questions to think about

• What might be happening on their side that you can’t see?
• Who could you talk to for support or an outside view?

Your challenge this week

Raise one difficult behaviour privately and specifically this month.