Module 6 · Adaptability & different people · Lesson 2 of 8

Different communication styles

Direct or indirect, fast or reflective — and personality tendencies without boxes.

7 min read · Level: Practising · Free — no account needed to read

The idea

People differ in communication style: some are direct and say exactly what they think; others are indirect and expect you to read between the lines. Some think out loud; others need time to think before they speak. Some want detail; others want the headline.

Personality tendencies play a part — some people are energised by lots of conversation, others by quiet — but styles are also shaped by upbringing, culture and situation. Nobody is only one style, and the same person may be direct at work and gentle at home.

Why it matters

Much friction between people who both mean well is really a clash of styles.

See it happen

Kamrul, who likes to think out loud, keeps interrupting his colleague Rima, who likes to think before speaking. She goes quiet in meetings.

The first reaction

He assumes she has nothing to add.

With the idea

He starts sending the agenda a day early and asking her view at the end. Her contributions turn out to be some of the most useful.

What changed

Adjusting to her style let her ideas reach the room.

Easy to get wrong

• Assuming your style is the “normal” one and others are strange.
• Boxing someone into a style after one conversation.

Try it now: Two styles

1. Describe your own style: direct or indirect, fast or reflective, detail or headline.
2. Describe the style of someone you sometimes clash with.
3. Write one adjustment you could make for them.

Questions to think about

• Which communication style do you find hardest to deal with?
• How might your style come across to someone very different?

Your challenge this week

Make one small adjustment to someone else’s communication style this week.