Meaning & purpose · Lesson 2 of 5

Your own definition of success

Success means different things to different people. Defining it for yourself protects you from chasing someone else's version.

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Many of the images of success we absorb come from outside: wealth, status, a particular job, a certain kind of house or lifestyle. These can be worthwhile. But if they are not truly yours, reaching them can feel strangely empty, and not reaching them can feel like a verdict on your whole life.

Defining success for yourself means asking: when I imagine looking back on my life, what would make me feel it went well? For some it is raising kind children, for others creating something lasting, serving a community, living faithfully, being free, or simply being at peace.

Your definition can include money and achievement, and it can change over the years. The point is that it comes from your own values and beliefs, so that your effort is aimed at something you actually care about.

See it happen

Hiroshi has reached every goal he set at twenty-five: a senior title, a good salary and a large apartment. At forty he feels restless and unsure why.

The first reaction

He has achieved everything he aimed for, so the restlessness must just be tiredness that a long holiday would fix.

With the idea

He writes his own definition of a life well lived and finds it centres on time with his children and mentoring younger people, both of which his work leaves little room for. He negotiates a four-day week and starts mentoring at a local school.

What changed

He defined success by his own values instead of the goals he had absorbed.

Easy to take the wrong way

Defining your own success does not mean rejecting ambition or other people's advice. It means choosing your goals consciously, so that achieving them brings what you hoped.