Module 12 · Resilience, purpose & growth · Moderate evidence

Knowing your values

Values are directions, not destinations — what you want your life to stand for.

7 min read · Level: Beginner · Free — no account needed to read

The idea

Values are what you want your life to stand for — the qualities you want to bring to how you live: kindness, honesty, curiosity, courage, family, creativity, fairness, health, learning. They are different from goals. A goal can be completed (“run a marathon”); a value is a direction you can keep moving in (“looking after my body”).

Acceptance and commitment therapy puts values at the centre of wellbeing: knowing what matters helps you choose actions when feelings are hard, and gives even difficult times a sense of purpose. Some studies also suggest that reflecting on your values can buffer stress.

Values are personal. They don’t have to match your family’s, your culture’s or social media’s. Clarifying them is less about finding the “right” ones and more about noticing what genuinely matters to you — and how far your days reflect it.

Why it works

Values act as a compass when choices are hard. Knowing them makes decisions clearer and effort more meaningful.

A real example

The situation

Marisol feels busy but unfulfilled. Her days are full, but none of it feels like hers.

What happened

She writes down her top values: family, creativity and health. She notices most of her week serves none of them. She protects two evenings for painting and one for a family dinner. Her weeks are no less busy, but they feel more like her own.

The takeaway

Naming her values showed her where her time wasn’t matching her life.

Use this when you are…

• you feel busy but unfulfilled
• facing a hard decision
• you want motivation that lasts

Common mistakes

• Confusing values with goals that can be completed.
• Choosing values you think you should have, rather than ones you hold.
• Naming values but never checking whether your days reflect them.

What the evidence says

Moderate evidence: Several studies support it, but the effects are smaller, the studies are fewer or less rigorous, or results vary between groups.

Values clarification is central to acceptance and commitment therapy, which has growing evidence, and studies of values affirmation suggest it can buffer stress in some settings. Effects vary across studies and contexts.

Where this comes from: Acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) research; Gratitude, purpose and wellbeing research.

Fields that study this: Clinical psychology.

Try it now: Name three values

1. Write down five things that matter deeply to you.
2. Circle the three that feel most true.
3. For each, note one way this week could reflect it.

Practise with a guided technique

• Values check — (10 min · Moderate evidence)

Questions to think about

• What do you want your life to stand for?
• Where do your days not match what matters to you?

Try this today

Do one small thing today that reflects one of your values.

Afterwards, ask yourself

How did acting on a value change how your day felt?

Words in this lesson

• Values — What you want your life to stand for — directions you can keep moving in, like kindness, honesty or learning, rather than goals you finish.