Habit book notes · Kelly McGonigal · 2011

The Willpower Instinct — the big ideas

A course-based book on self-control: noticing impulses, the pause, self-compassion after lapses, and the social side of willpower.

Free — no account needed to read

Based on a university course on self-control: noticing impulses, pausing, understanding the pull of the future versus now, and the role of self-compassion in change.

The big ideas

Notice before you act

Self-awareness of impulses creates space to choose.

Self-compassion over self-criticism

Harshness after failure tends to make repeat failure more likely.

Willpower is social

The people around us shape our choices, for better and worse.

Key concepts

• Pause-and-plan
• Self-compassion
• Future self
• Social influence

Limits

• Parts of the book draw on ego-depletion research that later replications challenged.
• The self-compassion and awareness practices have better support than the willpower-as-muscle framing.

What the research says

• Wohl, Pychyl & Bennett (2010) — Students who forgave themselves for procrastinating before one exam procrastinated less before the next. Limits: One student sample and self-report.
• Sirois & Pychyl (2013) — Argued that procrastination is largely about repairing a bad mood now — escaping the unpleasant feeling a task brings — at the expense of your future self. Limits: A theoretical review.

Apply this idea

Next time you slip, write one kind sentence to yourself and one small next step.

Described in our own words with the source named — not a summary of the whole book.